DATING & LOVE

TO HOE OR NOT TO HOE?

Top 9 things you need to know before you have a hoe phase.

If this is something you would like to test out, we recommend you hoe responsibly. There are some rules and regulations to the game because you can’t be in these streets just doing any ol’ thing. 


Hoe Phase: A phase in your life used to describe sexual liberation in the dating scene; exploring your sexuality with zero permanent ties.

You might be thinking, why would someone want to have a hoe phase? Some might say it is a chance to have fun, explore, and gain experience. You become liberated, confident, and your self-love improves. Not to mention, it’s a chance to get it all out of your system before you settle down. For a long time, being called a hoe was considered an insult. And it still is depending on the context and who you are referencing. Women are told not to be promiscuous. We weren’t allowed to have the same sexual liberty as men. If word got around on the street that you slept around, you were talked about and ostracized, even if it weren’t true. On the other hand, men were celebrated and given pats on the back, while women were supposed to be ladylike, pure, and have low to no existent body count. 

But a new day has come, and women have decided to own their sexuality and take their power back. We can be sexual beings and not limit ourselves to how society says we’re supposed to be. So below, my friend and I have come up with the top 9 things you should follow if you want to have a “hoe phase.” If this is something you would like to test out, we recommend you hoe responsibly. There are some rules and regulations to the game because you can’t be in these streets just doing any ol’ thing. 

  1. The benefits of having a hoe phase are: you can explore your likes and dislikes. No two lovers are alike, and people will bring different things out of you. You will be able to distinguish your needs vs. wants. It is also a great time to shed all inhibitions and really let loose. If you are going to do this, you might as well enjoy it to the max.
  2. I think the right age to start is twenty-five and up. Of course, you can have a hoe phase at a younger age. Not too young, though, maturity is key in all of this. This lifestyle is not for the fragile.
  3. Practicing safe sex at all times is the utmost important thing in all of this. You do not want to leave with anything extra that you did not come in with. So make sure you use condoms, dental dams, get tested for sexually transmitted infections, etc. It is also good to keep condoms on you, ladies, and not solely rely on the man. Your safety is your responsibility.
  4. Communication and honesty are essential, have a few conversations with a potential candidate before sleeping with them; this allows you to see who you are dealing with to decide if you want to take things further. During these conversations, you also want to establish a clear understanding of what you both want—leading with how important it is, to be honest. There is no reason to lie.
  5. Be selective on who you share your body with. Does he sleep around? Does he practice safe sex? Does he practice good hygiene? There needs to be a level of care with your cat. If you are considering having one-night stands, this doesn’t apply. So I would recommend you participate in very few of those.  
  6. We recommend that you only keep two people in your rotation at one time. Now because there is no exclusivity, and your partner may be dating someone else, having a pair and a spare is a good idea. You need backup in case plan “A” does not pan out. Within this, you will find out everyone serves a purpose. 
  7. Vet The “D” first. Beware, ladies, you might come across some whack penis. So you must try to weed out and avoid the ones you think will be a waste of time. Child, ain’t nothing worse than giving the cat up to someone who ain’t even deserve it. You will be kicking yourself later, “like damn, that was a waste of time.” So do yourself a favor and vet the “D” first. 
  8. Remember this is not relationship “D,” So all of the things you would typically do in a relationship do not apply here. To have a hoe phase, you need to be a little bit of a savage. Ain’t no room for emotions. You have to be able to turn your feelings on and off. 
  9. Be a hoe in different area codes. What did Luda say, “I got hoes in different area codes.” Do not have your hoe’ness concentrated in one area. If you are dealing with multiple men, you do not want to risk the possibility of them knowing each other. It is also a good idea to consider avoiding people that run in or near your inner circle. In my opinion, it is better to sleep with someone who no one knows. The fewer people that know, the better off you are. 

Now I know this lifestyle may not be for everyone. My friend did it and had the time of her life. She doesn’t regret it and says it has made her a better woman in some aspects. I personally did not have a hoe phase, and I do not regret it. I thought about it a few times, but I don’t feel like it’s something I could’ve done. It is not for everyone, and I believe you have to be in a particular mental space to pull it off. For me, sex is too personal and intimate. Plus, soul ties are real, ya’ll. Look it up if you are not familiar with that word. However, no matter what you decide to do, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, and it is something you can handle. Don’t allow the outside world to dictate your life. Ladies, you have options. You can save yourself for marriage, have multiple partners or one partner at a time, or you could just be celibate. Whatever you decided to do with your body is your business. Your happiness is not based on others. 

Lets discuss, comment down below and let me what your thoughts are on having a hoe- phase.

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